Before you read this awesome story that made me laugh soo hard I had tears streaming down my face, I want to say a little something.

ANY mom in any stage of life can appreciate this story.  It comes from one of my friends who wishes to remain anonymous.  After sharing this story with me I asked if I could share it on my blog.  It just made me laugh so hard, I had to share it with other moms.  We always need a good laugh, right?!  The friend who wrote this is HILARIOUS!  She always seems to help me see the humorous side of motherhood.  I WISH she had a blog or would write on mine on a regular basis.  She makes me happy when I read her posts on Facebook, because I can always relate and I ALWAYS have a good laugh from the way she explains her motherhood moments.

Enjoy

Bare..ly Baking

If this story ever gets out, I hope to be known only as “Anonymous”. Usually when you hear a story, you play it out mentally. When you know who the story is about, you can’t help but imagine that person in your mental reenactment. It is for this reason I cannot be known, especially by those who know me.

Because of two things I didn’t do and two things I did do, I will probably be scarred for life. What I didn’t do was go grocery shopping the night before and get up in time to assemble school lunches before kids left for school. What I did do was try and enhance the lunch consisting of an apple and goldfish crackers and take a shower in less than 8 minutes.

I had this brilliant mom moment where I decided I would make up for the fact the lunches were pathetic by baking fresh homemade cookies. And for once I wanted to show up to the school looking like someone who knows the basics of personal hygiene.

Since I only had time for one batch of cookies before I needed to leave, I thought I would put my multitasking skills to work and take the most efficient shower on record while the cookies were baking. The cookies were in, the timer was set and I was off and running. But it didn’t take long before the steam from the shower fogged up my focus and, for a brief moment, I got lost in thought. While I was drying off, a strong waft of baking cookies came through the door and immediately snapped me back into the race. Out of fear of burning my only chance to redeem my sorry school lunches, I didn’t even take a second to find clothes or even a nano second to pick up a towel. I found myself running naked down the hall, past the front door, to the kitchen to save the cookies. (Now, for someone who NEVER even walks around in their underwear, let alone their birthday suit, this was way out of character for me and I silently prayed this wouldn’t also be one of those moments my in-law’s decided to just pop in the front door.)

If the Food Network ever needs a fresh idea for a show I could do one on how to bake like a maniac.  I can whip up a batch of cookies in no time but I have this bad habit of burning my forearm when manically rushing a hot pan out of the oven. Several scars have come and gone over the years. It was in this frenzied rush to save the cookies and redeem the brown bagged lunch, I quickly opened up the oven and leaned in to grab the pan. I’m not usually naked in the kitchen and parts of my body aren’t used to being so free when I lean over. So it was quite a shock when my right breast met sizzling hot metal. Um, OUCH!!. It didn’t take long before I realized I was going to have a bright pink scar the size of a fifty cent piece just above my nipple. It would end up resembling a large hickey.

Of course the next day was my Dr’s appointment for a follow up chest x-ray after my bout with pneumonia. (I did have to post pone my mammogram, though).  And of course the x-ray tech had to be male. I tried to keep my gaping gown held tight to my chest so he couldn’t get a peek at the bright pink “hickey”. I certainly didn’t want to explain to him how I was baking naked and burned my breast. It was going to be awkward enough explaining it to my husband when he came back to town.

THE END!

She later told me that her husband said, “What in the? You were running through the house naked and I missed it?”…haha

I hope you had a good laugh like I did and OUCH! That must have been soo painful….