Let’s talk about the “baby blues” and when they go too far.

Motherhood is wonderful- cute tiny babies, sweet cuddles, so many precious moments. Sadly because of a little thing called HORMONES sometimes those beautiful moments with your newest baby can be clouded in yucky feelings that make us moms get anxious or depressed. Hormones get a bad wrap. They help us to do all the awesome things our female body is meant to do- have babies and nurse. BUT! Sometimes they get tricky and can completely bog us down.

I love being a mom.  After having 5 babies, 3 of which I had postpartum with, I can say you never know if it PPD is going to hit, hit hard, or completely pass you by. With my first baby I had PPD so badly that my husband started working from home. It is one of the reasons we are self employed. We recognized I needed help in a bad way. I had a really hard time being left alone each day. That was before the hospitals screened for PPD right after you had a baby in the hospital and at your 6 week check up. NO ONE WAS TALKING ABOUT IT. I felt totally alone and like I was a failure. Those feelings only made my Postpartum Depression worse. Thankfully my husband saw what was going on with me. We were open about how I was feeling and he helped me through a very dark time in my life.  Looking back at our young naive newly parent selves- we should have gone to get professional help for my depression. We just didn’t know.

Fast forward to baby number two and three. No Postpartum Depression. We were ready though, watching for signs and ready to attack it. It never came. Fast forward again! Baby number 4 joined our crew and so did Postpartum. This time however it didn’t set in until my baby was around 3 months old and it came in the form of anger and anxiety. My chest constantly hurt. I thought I was going to have a heart attack so I went in to see my doctor. I was a mess in that appointment. I cried at the drop of a hat and couldn’t seem to stop. I was diagnosed with Postpartum Anxiety and Depression. It surprised me! The feelings I was having were so different than after my first baby. Still raw and awful, but very different. I would get SO angry about minor things in an instant. My chest would ache during the day and literally feel like my sternum bone was being stepped on.  I would also cry and not be able to stop and I was tired ALL the time. A tired feeling that I was unable to shake.

After talking with my husband, my mother, and my doctor I went on depression medication that was safe for nursing mothers/babies. My world changed for the better. I wasn’t on that medication for very long. When I was ready I went off of it and that PPD phase was gone.

Something I realize about that time though was that we were not ready for the baby blues to run a muck that time. We weren’t looking for the signs of Postpartum Depression, because we thought I was passed that. After all I didn’t have it with baby number 2 or 3! Postpartum Depression is funny like that, our hormones are funny. Your body might be okay one time and totally off another. And that is why it’s important to be in tune with your body and mind, check in with those closest to you, and consult a doctor before things get really bad.

After baby number 5 I could feel those anxious and sad feelings returning. I recognized I needed to be honest with myself about how I was feeling and take steps to try to prevent it from going further. I did not want to go to that dark place again.

So here are somethings I did this time around that have helped me to combat my Postpartum Depression and Anxiety.

1. Talk to my peeps! Tell a few people close to me how I’m feeling. I tell me husband and a couple of friends I’m starting to feel depressed and anxious as soon as I recognize it is going on more days than it should. I ask them to check in on me. This time around I started a Marco Polo group with 3 of my close friends that also have young children at home. They are in the thick of it and can relate to where I’m at and sympathize with how I’m feeling. I also tell my husband when I don’t feel right. The dude sleeping next to me and raising these babies with me should be the most I tune with what’s going on. If he’s busy and not catching the signs or not able to reading my mind, I tell him. I don’t play games, I just tell him exactly how I’m feeling. He’s my number one support and needs the facts to be able to help me. Talk to your peeps! I know it can be hard admitting you are struggling. But it will be a lot less painful if you have some people who love you keeping an eye out for you and giving you the support you need to get through this.
2. Talk to your Doc. Your doctor can help you to know if this is just some baby blues or full blown PPD. Most OBGYN offices now have a licensed therapist on staff to help women with this. Your doctor can help you decide if you need to be talking with a therapist or getting on some short term medication to help you while your hormones are adjusting. Don’t be afraid to tell your doctor, they are there to help!
3. Get in some exercise. Now I know with little babies needing you this can be hard to find time for. A little walk around the block, a work out DVD, or even a few times up and down your stairs can help bump up those endorphins. I try to put on my headphones and walk on my elliptical for 20-30 minutes.
4. Vitamins!!! Vitamin B can do wonders for your emotions and energy levels. You can take it while nursing and it helps give you a boost. Prenatals are important to keep taking after you have your baby also.
5. Schedule “Me Time.” It is so important for you to have time to yourself. Ask a family member or friend you trust with your baby to come over, ask your husband after work, or schedule a sitter for once a week. Find a way to do something for your self, something you love doing, and do it! When you can take some time for yourself, you will start to have that fog lift. Sometimes for me, it’s going out to eat with a friend or working on a project in my garage. Staying busy and creating always helps me to get back to a happy place, even if it’s for a short time.
6. Get outside. With a new baby it can be hard to leave your house. It’s hard to even shower! But, try to head outside. Breath in the air as you go grab the mail or push the trash to the curb. Getting a little fresh air will help to boost your mood and clear your head.
7. Cuddle your baby. Sometimes with PPD the worst thing happens- you don’t want to hold your baby. Then you feel crappy about having lost that desire and you spiral down from there. Find a quiet time when your baby is content to just focus on holding your baby and feeling love for this little one. Focus on how cute your babies ears and tiny hands are. Talk to your baby and smell your baby. That last part might sound weird… but there’s something to smelling your baby that can bring on those lovie mom feelings.
8. Cry. It’s totally okay to go in your room and let it ALL out. You got a lot on your plate. And hormones… am I right?! They can be the worst! Let your self cry. If you find your self crying for no reason, you can’t stop, or you are crying at odd times it is time to talk to your peeps and your doc about it.
9. Get a hug. Maybe this one doesn’t apply to you, maybe you don’t like hugs. But I heard a stat once that said the average person needs 5 hugs a day to be happy…. HA! I have no idea if that is true or not. But, it is worth a try.
10. Know you are not alone. This is a big one. Please know that you are not alone. Thousands of women go through this and come out of it. You will too. This will pass and you can be back to your regular old awesome self again. I can promise you it will. I have been in some low and dark places with PPD and I have also been able to come out it. I know it feels like none of that is true though. You may feel like you are totally alone, isolated, and you will never stop feeling this way. STOP! Stop right there. You can get through this. I am sending you a giant virtual hug! Just don’t suffer alone. Get the help you need and take care of yourself. Do it for you and for that tiny baby. Your family loves you and needs you. Taking care of yourself is what will get you out of this funk.

I hope this helps someone out there in internet land… Life can be rough at times, but it is also so beautiful. Most of the time we have to work for that beauty. Women are good at working hard. You got this.